Any of you know who, have been reading my blog, that I am a pretty faithful Catholic. I never judge anyone who doesn’t believe what I believe nor will I ever condemn anyone for the like.
Lately, I have been thinking about my life as a whole and how I am always trying to do something new to make money. It stems from not having a lot as a kid and watching my mother struggle to put food on the table.
Most people would say that this is a good thing, and for someone else it would be. But for me, a woman with MS, a mother of four and a wife, putting all of my efforts into money making schemes, does not make for a happy family.
What happens is that I neglect. I put all of my efforts into this new endeavor, which is going to be the greatest ever, and neglect everything else in my life. This includes cleaning, cooking, shopping for food, talking to anyone in or outside the house, paying bills, etc.
It’s like the the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I just become a hamster on a wheel. I am the queen of starting and never finishing. I buy all the pieces to make the quilt, for example, but never put it together. My house is like an episode of “Cold Case.” All those unsolved endeavors labeled and stashed away forever. Except my house isn’t as organized.
Another problem I have is while I am in my new “business” I get everyone else involved. I say I’ll make things for them, show them how to do this or that, etc. It makes for a big, fat mess that I usually don’t clean up because I’m moving onto the next best thing!
Either way, I have made the decision that I am going to take a vow of poverty. Don’t panic, I’m not giving everything away and leaving my family. I’m going to take my own vow. My version of living as simply as possible and finally letting God in through the clutter and the mess.
Because for me, at the end of the day, that’s all I can trust and have true faith in and am concerned with. I start my day with Him and end it thanking Him.
I do believe that Jesus is guiding me down this path and who am I to say no? Life is so much easier when I just do what I’m supposed to do with gratitude and love.
My plan is that with a little help from God, coffee, no gluten and Provigil (I take this twice a day to keep me awake) I will get ‘er done!
I will start by going through my “stuff.”
The truth is I am not a fashionista in any way, shape or form. Yet I have many items of clothing that would beg to differ. Shoes, shoes, shoes. Please!
Side note: When I was in my twenties, I had one pair of shoes. My Doc Martens. I wore them to work with my little dresses. I wore them in the snow, rain, sleet. In fact, I wore them so much that I cracked the rubber sole. Anyone who knows these shoes knows that is hard to do.
But I digress. So the clothes and shoes are out. I will keep what I wear all the time and get rid of the rest. Honestly, the last time I went anywhere that demanded a fashion statement was, um, uh, never!
Next, I will go through my closet of endeavors. All the crap I’ve accumulated over the years trying to make money. I will organize and label. I will not throw out because I’ve spent money on it and my girls will use.
Finally, I will get rid of anything that is not useful and has a purpose in the house. The Singer sewing machine I bought that doesn’t work. The piano someone gave us that is so out of tune it is painful to hear and the keys don’t work. I guess that’s why they gave it away. All the old telephone, cable and cell phone cords I keep “just in case I need them.”
Oh, I forgot. Along with being the Queen of not finishing what I start, I have another title. This title I’ve had since I was a kid. Queen of the Garbage Pickers! I have been collecting junk since I was old enough to walk. It actually came in handy when I was young and needed furniture for my apartment. Milk crates, old desks left in the street, anything useful. I’m not even allowed to go to the dump because I always come home with something “we need!”. Actually, no one told me I couldn’t go, I just don’t.
I have also promised myself and my husband no more tag sales. When I go to a tag sale, it’s like a gambler in Vegas. It’s the thrill of the hunt. I get all tingly and ferocious. eBay has become off limits unless it is to sell.
So my WordPress friends, that is what is up with me today. To live as simply as possible.
I am sure I am not alone in thinking it would be great to walk away from all my worldly possessions and start clean. Except I would have to keep my iPhone so you all know how I’m doing.
But, alas, I cannot. For I am the keeper of my brood. The star to their sky and the air in which they breath. 🙂 I wish.
All kidding aside, they do no need me.
And being needed, loved and cherished by anyone in this world that is so overwhelmed by sadness, injustice and suffering is good enough for me.
In ten years I am sure this won’t be the situation. Then I can walk:) 🙂 🙂