Time to Face the Truth

Pantry is bare
No money in sight
Trying to muster
The strength to survive

Mortgage not paid
Three months now
I think
How did we get here
This really is bleak

If I live in each moment
As I’m told to do
I savor the coffee
The sunrise
It’s cool

But the next moment brings
Reality back in
How do I savor
This life we’re stuck in

Do I put all my energy
Into stamps and handouts
Donations from others
Left outside my huge house?

Does that make sense to you?
Well to me it does not
But to walk away clean
Means to break all our promises

To stand tall and face
All the debts
Doubting Thomas‘s
Who said oh how lucky
We were not long ago

When we worked
So very hard for
This life now we sow

Was it luck that pulled us
Out of city life rushing
Was it luck that brought
Mom and Dad to a town
Always wanting

The best for our children
Who now see what is happening
When ignorance and bliss
Take its toll on blessing counting

The children
What to tell them
When they ask normal questions
Like
Why can’t you buy
Those new shoes
Easter dresses

Or drive in a car
That won’t stall in the street
I tell them the cold
Is the reason, that’s it

Rolled up quarters
Only last for a while you see
And the truth always shows
As it is now for me

As I sit here
And write this depressing
Poetic blog
I wonder how everything
Here went so wrong

Is it Gods Will I ask
Is this what is necessary
To teach us that living our lives
Free from worry

Means packing it up
And walking away
From a life built on
Love, sweat and money we’ve made

In an instant our world
Of comfort has turned
Into phone calls and letters
That say, times up
Real soon

I have to admit
That if faced with the question
Of walking away
Then I hope it Gods answer

And humility
Boy, he’s been following me
Poking and yelling
Hey, Remember me?

I refuse to go asking
All the people I love
For a handout
When I’m typing
On a phone I can’t afford
Sitting in a big house
With a pool in the yard
Watching cable tv
I also cannot afford

But even if I stripped every
Luxury from life
And sold my possessions
Sitting in candle light

We still would be living
The same way you see
The problem is not Him
It’s my husband and me

We need to learn this lesson
Of ignorance bliss
Disregarding the hole
That we’ve dug and jumped in

Knowing that eventually
The jig would be up
So who is to blame
It’s not you
It is us

And if I listen to Him
And take each day as blessings
And stick to His will
Not write my own story

Then maybe I’ll see
Clearly what we should do
In this mess we’ve created
From dependence, false truths

So the moral of my
Little poem your reading
Is to listen to Him
Count the blessings you’re reaping

And realize that life
its own seasons it brings
For you it is winter
For me it is spring

I’m counting on spring
To bring new marching orders
That force us to see
That we’re on our last quarters

So roll them I will
Proudly marching out
Cashing them in for some
Milk, eggs and butter and flour

It’s time for this poem
To end as I have
Gone on long enough
I should pray now
Instead

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About goplayintraffic

My Blog, which began as a mommy blog and turned into a writing website, www.write2survive.com, is the product of my years of being home with my children and trying to find ways to keep myself sane. I have always had this feeling, coming from a single mother, that I have to contribute financially and that I have to be able to take care of myself and my children. having been married, being a NYC school teacher, having four children, living in Newtown, CT and trying to find a way to get through each day with a smile has always been something I've strived for. My stories, articles and poems will do a lot of things but mostly make you feel. I think that is what is so wonderful about having the ability to write. I have been given the gift of taking my emotions and transferring them to written word. Once that is done, I can share those words with others who may feel better, maybe just for a moment, but better nonetheless having read my words. I am glad you are here and hope you will stay:)
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