As I Sit on My Curb Contemplating, Short

As I sit on the curb amidst the foul smelling street,
odors of beer and urine, the haze of fumes from cars
driving past, I am okay. Sitting in filth. This is my comfort
zone.  No worries of judgement passed on myself nor
the others that join me.  No deeper could I fall into the
well of despair.

Darkness is comforting. Like a vampire I stay out at night
and hide away from the light. Hiding in places most wouldn’t
dare to enter. Shadows of those who are like me appear as
the night transpires. Normalcy for me is chaos. The Irreputable slumber from life on life’s terms.

I’m a beggar, a poet, a singer to those who are nothing.
I am the queen to my court of lost souls. I am important to
those who have live in my world.. Morally and spiritually
bankrupt.  I lead my court in tales of woe. We teach tricks
of the trade to each other. We’ve created a family. The
streets are our Great Room where we convene.

One may wonder how we came to this place. Who chooses
to live on streets and beg for need. Who chooses to chase a
feeling that will never be found again. Lovers of numbing
ourselves. Emotion can not penetrate despair. It is a choice
we’ve made. It’s is the unwillingness to join the living.

You see us in darkness and shadows. You see us on curbs
with false smiles and big dreams. You pass us and are
thankful for comfort or family.

But for the Grace of God go I.

Grace is given to those who earn it.   I wander.
I excuse opportunity and bow out of responsibility.

I am a grain of sand.  Waiting to be washed away with
the tide.  I welcome it.

I sit on the curb amidst the foul smelling streets.

By choice.

About goplayintraffic

My Blog, which began as a mommy blog and turned into a writing website,, is the product of my years of being home with my children and trying to find ways to keep myself sane. I have always had this feeling, coming from a single mother, that I have to contribute financially and that I have to be able to take care of myself and my children. having been married, being a NYC school teacher, having four children, living in Newtown, CT and trying to find a way to get through each day with a smile has always been something I've strived for. My stories, articles and poems will do a lot of things but mostly make you feel. I think that is what is so wonderful about having the ability to write. I have been given the gift of taking my emotions and transferring them to written word. Once that is done, I can share those words with others who may feel better, maybe just for a moment, but better nonetheless having read my words. I am glad you are here and hope you will stay:)
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